Jun 16, 2011

49 Quotes Every Geek Should Know [Big Bang Theory]

Penny: Not knowing is part of the fun.
Sheldon: Was that the motto of your community college? (Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory)

2.Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors. (Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory)

3.Ah, gravity - thou art a heartless bitch. (Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory)

4.I am not crazy, my mother had me tested. (Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory)

5.If you don't mind, I'd like to stop listening to you and start talking.(Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory)
The next 20 are all from Sheldon

6. I do not have to urinate. I am the master of my own bladder.........drat.

7.Interesting. Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior. I wonder if anyone else has stumbled onto that.

8.That's going to make me a chick magnet and I'm so busy as it is!

9.What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?

Good morning everyone and welcome to "Science and Society". I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, BS, MS, MA, PhD and ScD. OMG, right?
11.There's a fine line between wrong and visionary. Unfortunately, you have to be a visionary to see it.

12.You know, I'm given to understand that there's an entire city in Nevada devoted specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems. They replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases. (Sheldon on Las Vegas, The Big Bang Theory)

13.There's no need to interact with me. I'm just here to observe.

14.Sheldon on the idea of giving gifts:

You bought me a present? Why would you do such a thing? I know you think you're being generous, but the foundation of gift giving is reciprocity. You haven't given me a gift, you've given me an obligation. The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. Ah, it's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year. Oh, I brought this on myself by being such an endearing and important part of your life...
The entire institution of gift giving makes no sense. Let's say that I go out and I spend 50 dollars on you. It's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need whereas you know what you need. Now I could simplify things, just give you the 50 dollars directly and then you could give me 50 dollars on my birthday and so on; until one of us dies leaving the other one old and 50 dollar richer and I ask you is, it worth it?

15.What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?

Oh, and one more thing, it's on b*tch.

17.I have a Masters degree and two Doctorates. The things I *should* know, I do know.

18.There's always a chance that alcohol and poor judgment on her part may lead to a wonderful evening.

19.Why don't you just take your clothes down to the river and beat them with a rock.

20.Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the same side, bazinga !

21.That seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through for intercourse. Don't you have access to women who will do it for money?

22.Leonard, be serious. We're playing a game here.

23.Like the subordinate male protagonist in countless action movies who disappears halfway through the second reel, I have returned to save the day. [pause]. Odd, he's usually met by cheers.

24.Amy, I find myself wondering if we should actually engage in coitus at least one time in our relationship ... bazinga!

25. Is your womb available for rental?

26.I don't know how, but she is cheating! Nobody can be that attractive and this skilled at a videogame.

27.1234 is not a secure password.

28.We could also stop using the letter M. But I think that idea is isguided and oronic.

29.(Going apologize to Penny) I have a masters and two PhDs. I should not have to do this.

30.Everything is better with Bluetooth.

Did I miss any awesome quotes ? Comment and I'll add them !

Thats enough for today, posting the rest of them later...
Below is a photo that has a screen shot of every scene on the intro of the Big Bang Theory

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